This week just sucked- straight up sucked. What sucks most is that it wasn’t all bad, just mostly bad… glass half shitty I suppose.
During the week, I had the uncomfortable email discussion with my boss about my terrible attitude at work and how I’m bringing the office down with my sour demeanor and the obvious [...]
Damnit!
Getting worse?
It’s officially getting worse- everything is; my depression, my relationship with my daughter (it’s too sad to be around me), the “relationship” with the other one, the divorce itself and now I am being told that my attitude and demeanor are having a negative impact on things at work and it has now become a [...]
Almost there…
The office party is coming up and I’m going to be heading out of town to have some time away with my best friend- doing anything but dwelling on my life and feeling sorry for myself. I feel bad that I will not be there to offer moral support to my boss, the head of [...]
That’s gonna leave a mark…
Well, today was one of the worst days of my adult life. Sat across from you-know-who all day and got to listen to all the stories about how they are looking at condos together and how the ex/ new love is even considering moving closer to you-know-who. How nice. How very fucking nice. No, really… [...]
Mixed bag…
Had a good time with my daughter this weekend and the past week. It was nice to be able to have her around this week, as I went through all the things that would’ve been far more painful otherwise. It was a great week with her and I am lucky to have her in my [...]
A message to you…
I wish I had the intestinal fortitude to simply tell you the thoughts that keep scrolling through my head all day and all night long. Thing is, I don’t want to hurt you- still- and I don’t want to make you feel bad or lose you for good, forever. Pathetically, deep inside, I recognize the [...]
Wallowing.
I had a good great evening with my daughter tonight. I needed it too, as I filed the second set of divorce papers today and then had to go serve them to my ex-to-be and return to the courthouse to file the notice of service of summons. The day was far from “stress free”, but [...]
Silver Lining
Spent much of the evening with the ex working on more divorce paperwork. The good thing is that it went really smoothly. It was, dare I say it (for the circumstances)… enjoyable. Our daughter really enjoyed having both of us around at the same time too. She understood that it was a temporary thing, telling [...]
So unsure…
Really just feeling unsure and overwhelmingly melancholy today. Not so sharp spikes of up or down, just a general malaise and discontent. Yippee. Spent much of the day feeling neither very happy nor very sad. I would normally think it’s good to be finding a middle, but this just felt weird.
I haven’t cried today, though [...]
The plunge…
Did it and survived- went on a “date” for the first time in too many years. Had a nice dinner and a fairly easy conversation. It was… “ok”.
Getting ready to go out, I was getting silly with the stress and anxiety. Hoping to myself, “please let —- be normal and not a freak.” As it [...]
